This is a collection of first-hand, true accounts of people sneezing. Thank you to everyone who contributed to it, and please do not hesitate to e-mail more to me as they are witnessed. e-mail
Note: If something you have submitted is here and you would like your name either added or removed, please e-mail me.
Once, when I was in a
coffeeshop, I heard soft in-takes of a few tables over and noticed a (cute) man
in the throes of fighting off a sneeze. He was in the corner, reading a book and
I don't think he thought anyone was aware of him (the cashiers were talking to
each other and I think there were some other couples--talking). He let himself
go entirely, as the sneeze came up on him, with his chest heaving and eyes
lightly closed. I heard Eh...eh...eh...and then a quick AH-SHOO! he turned his
head towards the wall. His head came up for a second, eyes still closed, and
then a double AH-SHOO! AH-SHOO! He never looked around him, perfectly
comfortable afterwards, sniffling a little and wiping his nose with a napkin. It
was very sexy.
I was waiting to cross an avenue a few
days ago, sort of standing in the street just off the curb, when this bike
messenger came weaving through the slow stream of traffic. He looked to be in
his late 20s, slim and long-limbed with short, spiky dark hair. He came out from
behind a van, sort of gliding without pedalling. He was maybe 40 feet away,
coming towards me, when he sneezed once, explosively: "whhoossSSSSHhoooo!!" He
clutched onto the handlebars and barely tipped his head when he let loose. All
this was just beginning to register when he sneezed again in the same way, then
passed me and was gone. ~Julia
My friend T always sneezes like clockwork in the spring and fall. He's a
little on the heavy side--I don't know if this has anything to do with it--and his sneezes are consistently ferocious and very wet, so much so that he squelches them completely between what sounds like his tongue and the roof of his mouth. If he's standing, his body folds over completely at the waist and all you hear is "nnkgh."
A few years ago we were in a bar on a Saturday afternoon, shooting pool and drinking beer. We came outside to sit on the front stoop of someone's building, just to enjoy the sun while we chatted. He sat right behind me, about two steps up, and I sat with my back against his knees so we wouldn't completely block off the building entrance. Suddenly his body lurched forward into one of his typically violent but wholly contained sneezes.
I blessed him without turning to look, then I teased him about how uptight and retentive they always were. I implied that he probably couldn't achieve an entirely blissful state of orgasm either, as a bodily function simple as a sneeze seemed to fill him with inhibition. (This is actually a tiny theme in a
John Irving book that he recommended to me).
We were both a little drunk and he insisted indignantly that his sneezes were as manly and virile as they come, only he was too polite to spray them everywhere, and now I was gonna get it because he felt another one coming. And with that, he sneezed with complete abandon straight down behind me, open- but
tight-mouthed. Although I didnt feel the spray itself, the sound was full and satisfying and seemed to resonate wetly against the palate.
"Well, now that was a sneeze," I approved. He sniffed and sighed and seemed pretty pleased with it himself.
On another occasion, maybe about spring of '96, we were heading from a cafe to my apartment with a small group of friends. We walked just alongside a small park. We passed under a cluster of trees and he sneezed twice in such quick and violent succession that it caused him to stagger and almost run into
someone else. Again, he was so quiet that I think he and I were the only ones to notice.
T ended up spending the night on my foldout sofa. On Sunday morning we were playing music together, when he sneezed with such a tremendous spray that I couldn't contain my surprise. "My god. Bless you." I almost whispered.
"I'm trying not to suppress my sneezes anymore," he explained (maybe as a result of my sporadic badgering), then added, "within reason."
"It feels so much better to let them out, doesn't it?" I agreed, feeling my stomach go a little giddy.
He sneezed maybe three more times after that, all singles with about 2 or 3 minutes in between, and each quite visibly in profile. He had a guitar in his lap and couldn't fold over the way he usually does. The third or fourth (I don't remember exactly now) was so violent that a little bead of moisture dropped from his lower lip in the force of the spray. He swiped it away quickly and groused, "Why am I sneezing like this?"
"You might be allergic to something," I offered. I knew he was, just from seeing his consistent reaction to these particular seasons over the years (almost ten now), but apparently this had never occurred to him.
"I hope I'm not getting sick," was all he said.
Later, we left my apartment to get lunch and coffee somewhere. Two minutes outside, he sneezed again, openly. This time it forced his elbows to rise comically in an attempt to fend off the sensation. Halfway down the next block he jammed both fists into his face and cried, "Why are my eyes tearing up?"
"It's the middle of April," I tried again. "It sounds like you have an allergy."
"Well, this would be the first time," he sounded kind of huffy, a little defensive.
"I read that sometimes they develop later in life," I countered. And I had. I was enjoying this immensely by the way. I have nothing but the deepest platonic feelings for T, but heavens.
So we ended up stopping at a deli for rolls and coffee and decided to eat them in the park. This was sort of anticlimactic because in retrospect, he had most of the rest of his sneezes in the deli. They were all the same in tone, perfectly squelched. But we stood while we waited, and we were the only ones in the place, so this gave him plenty of space to move around in between them. His body assumed these fiercely defensive postures before he succumbed to each little "nnkgh." It was almost vaudevillian. He knew I was watching and he'd sort of roll his eyes or shake his head at me after every one.
Later in the park he was mostly sniffles and coughs,
though my interest had already been sufficiently piqued to keep me transfixed.
We parted ways a little after eating. ~Julia
My best friend and I (he's a guy and I'm a girl) used to have this ability when we were only about 7 or 8: we could make ourselves sneeze. We used to have sneezing contests with each other to see who could sneeze the most. Even
back then, I was fascinated by sneezing--I wasn't old enough
to get turned on, but I found it incredibly interesting. So
whenever I got the oppurtunity, I'd get into a sneezing
contest with him. It's sounds masochistic, but to make
ourselves sneeze, we'd hit our own noses right in the
"jackpot" area (I'm serious we really called it that!),
which was about halfway up the nose, where cartilage meets
bone. It only produces a slight tingle now, but back then
it really worked. We'd sneeze in fits of seven or eight
in a row I remember that my friend got up to ten one time
(he was declared winner that night). I don't remember any
specific incidences, but my friend had very nice sneezes--
very natural and boyish (of course, he was only eight... ),
and he never covered them, so I always had a great view. ~J
Another memory of mine involves one of my seventh grade teachers--a guy I had a major crush on. He was very tall (six two or six three), well-built, with short brown hair and sweet brown eyes. Plus, he was funny. I was in love.) I actually have several stories about him (I'll only tell
one, though, because they're all pretty much repetitive
after the first), 'cause each time he sneezed is burned into
my memory, partly because I had such a huge crush on him and
partly because he had the hands-down best sneezes I have ever
heard, before or since. And no one I've met has equalled them.
One time, we were watching a video of some South American
country (notice how I remember exactly how the sneeze took place but absolutely
nothing about what we were learning. Ain't it always that way? :), and he
started crossing the room to show us something about the country on a map. When
he was about halfway across, pushing through some empty desks (the map was at
the back of the room, and the desks were all pushed together from an earlier
class), he got this expectant look on his face and slowed down a little. I, of
course, recognized this look immediately, and tensed expectantly. He collapsed
one hand into a gentle fist and brought it up to his mouth, closing his eyes as
he did so, now stopped completely. He leaned forward a little, and since I was
relatively close to him, I could hear a little soft intake of breath before he
actually sneezed. Then he leaned forward more completely and sneezed the most
perfect sneeze I've ever heard: soft but loud in volume at the same time, with
absolutely no yucky, interrupting voice-- pure sneeze. It sounded kind of like
"SHUH", but even that doesn't do it justice. Then he paused for a second, breath
quick, and sneezed again: another perfect one. As one, the class chirped "Bless
you", and he said "Excuse me" and then continued moving to the poster. I tell
ya, that certainly made my day. ~J
It was in Bankok, Thailand of all places. I was out with my girlfriend at the time in a restaurant with a tour group eating food and watching Thai dancers.
Suddenly I heard a sneeze behind me.. . I turned around and saw a blonde Australian girl. Her girlfriend turned around to look at her and as she did, the blond girl sneezed again directly into her friends face (well she did cover her nose and mouth with a kleenex). The other girl smiled as if she was used to her friends sneezes which she must have been becuase the blonde girl kept on sneezing!
She sneezed about every 30 seconds
throughout the meal which lasted over an hour. They were pleasnt little sneezes,
not too loud.. Choo! she went again and again with nice long 30 second pauses
between them. I dont know how she ate her meal.. She was right behind me so I
had to turn right round to see her which was too difficult so I just listened. I
heard people sympathizing with her. "you have a bad cold" etc. I just wished I
was with her. I would have hugged her and held her while she sneezed. It was
One Summer I recall seeing a young woman (guessing approx. 27 years old quite attractive with long blond hair) at a PGA event. She was nearby me camped out at the 18th green and watching the event with her husband. In conversation, she indicated that she was suffering from hayfever and had left her children at home fearing they might make too much noise and disrupt the players. Yet she was in clearly having some problem controlling her sneezing to the extent that it would not interfer with putting on the green. Her sneezes were failrly lrage and came with some buildup and ran in groups from singles up to five. During the course of a couple of hours she sneezed over 30 times. She was wearing a large sun hat and virtually every time she sneezed the hat fell off. This plus the excitment of her trying to space her sneezes around the shots provided considerable amusment/excitment to the people around her. ~r
In class yesterday morning, the guy who sat next to me sneezed twice. They were both short, powerful sneezes, and he blew his nose afterwards. Our teacher looked at him and said, "Gesundheit!" (It was a German class.) He sniffed and said, "Thanks, I think I'm coming down with a cold."
I watched my girlfriend have a small sneezing attack of three sneezes. It began by her cutely saying, "I have to sneeze! I have to sneeze!" Before she could say the last "sneeze" the first one came out. ah ah choo! Two more followed with short inhales of breath in between each sneeze. I watched intensely as her face crunched up before each sneeze. After she was through, she rubbed her nose with her finger, sniffed, looked at me and said "Wow, that felt wonderful!" It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. ~Kev
I was sitting in the room with my roommate in college, who had a bad cold. She spent all day blowing her nose, snifflng and sneezing, carrying around a huge Kleenex box with her throughout the day. As she was standing by her mirror in the room, she began to sniff and her breath quickened....for the first second, I think that she thought that she could stop it by sort of sniffing it in. She soon realized that there was no stopping the sneeze and made a quick bolt for her nightstand, where her enormous box of Kleenex stood. Grabbing a tissue from the box, she lifted it to her nose JUST in time to catch the loud, somewhat masculine, wet sneeze built up in her nose, sounding
something like, ah...Ah....AHHH.....CHOOOoooooo!!!!, sort of shouting the "CHOO" in relief. I politely blessed her inconspicuosly. She proceeded to wipe her nose a few times with the same kleenex and then grabbed a few more and blew her nose loudly, turning to me and saying "I wish that I could get rid of this cold already...this is so annoying, sneezing every two minutes" Then, just as she finished wiping her nose and getting herself together after the last sneeze, she let loose with another sudden one, AH-CHOO!, and sighed with annoyance once again!!! It was GREAT!!! ~jennanne
When I was in college, my girlfriend came to see me in a play that I was in. After the play was over, we went back to my apartment. I could immediately tell that she either had a cold or allergies. Her nose was red and stuffed, and she appeared flushed. Soon after we arrived, she remarked, "Did you hear me sneezing tonight during the play? I have this cold that won't go away." Well, that got my attention right away. We had recently started dating, and I had longed to hear her sneeze. I wondered what that beautiful tanned face, brown eyes and long brown hair looked like in the throws of a sneezing attack. She was sitting on my bed, while I was changing my clothes, getting ready to go out for the evening. As I glanced in her direction, I noticed that she was contorting her face, and scrunching her nose and eyes. Before I knew what was happening, she inhaled deeply. This was it, I thought...she was going to sneeze. And as she sneezed, she lunged forward, pinching her nose shut with her thumb and forefinger and clenching her lips together, uttering only "mmmmp!" It was a strong sneeze, which she successfully held in almost completely. My heart was racing. She had only enough time to catch her breath before another powerful sneeze occurred. Although she again attempted to hold the entire force of the sneeze in by pinching her nose and pursing her lips, more of the sneeze escaped with a "heh...chh!" By the third and final sneeze, also a "heh...chh!", I was in ecstacy. Her hair had fallen in front of her face, her nose was even redder than before, and her eyes were watery...she looked sexier than ever to me at that moment. I loved her attempts to master her sneezes, only to be overcome by them. Needless to say, we never made it out that evening, but I never told her about my strong fetish for her
sneezes. I silently enjoyed seeing them and hearing them time after time.
cubicle in a customer service office I heard one of my attractive coworkers
answer the phone. Before today, I had never heard or seen her sneeze before. She
answered the phone in her sweet quiet professional voice, and in the middlle of
the official company greeting she said.. "hold o..HUTP..choo...excuse me ma'am"
I immediately left my cube, hoping for a second one. As I watched and listened
while I "collected my memos" from her desk, I knew I would get my wish. She was
staring straight ahead, and I saw her eyes start closing and her nostrils
falring as the customer spoke to her. Suddenly breathed in quick, took the phone
away from her mouth, pinched her nose, and.. "MMMM"...an almost completely
silent sneeze. I smiled and mouth "Bless You!" She winked and said "thanks!"
What a morning! ~Tomcat
One day at college I was in the computer lab, when this really hot guy came in and sat down beside me.He had a red, irritated looking nose.He was about 5'11
brown hair, blue eyes, and a baseball player. He was SO hot it made me
sick. Anyway, I just sotra stared at him for a minute. He looked at me and smiled and asked me how I was doing and other small talk. Suddenly he got this strange
look on his face and in mid sentence his nostrils flared and he snezed three times the first one was at me the other two was into a tissue he yanked out of his pocket. He appologized and we kept talking for a few minutes, by this time I was VERY turned on.He started sneezing again about four more times. I asked him when his class was and he told me he was done for the day. I excused myself and told him I would see him around or some bull crap.I left but waited in the hall.Sure enough a minute or so later he cam out and headed to the bathroom. I followed him.
Inside the bathroom he sneezed about eight more times and
looked up at me and said it was his allergies. I was trying to hide the
"excitement" I felt towards him. I watched him throw two tissues in the trash
and headed out of the bathroom. I was rumaging through my books when he came
out. He said his name was Todd and asked me what I was going to do later. I told
him I had a new car and asked if he would like to see it. He said yes so I took
him out to see it and offered him a drive hoping the ride with the windows down
would give him another allergy attack.I was successful! I offered to take him to
my apartment out of the air for a while and he agreed. He had the strangest look
on his face one that I have had on mine quite a few times myself. We eneded up
at my apartment and he starteed sneezing again, he then began rubbing at his
crotch when I was looking. One thing led to another and to make a long story
short it was the best weekend of my life!
I was at the bank the other day paying in a cheque. The cashier was in her thirties, attractive with short curly hair. It was only a simple transaction lasting only a few seconds but I struck lucky. Half way through she turned away to her left while making a fist with her hand. It was a quick, loud, hard sneeze. She turned back and said "Excuse me." I blessed her and left.
Another time I has a lengthy transaction with another cashier, an older, mature woman a bit tubby with grey hair. There was a queue behind me and a woman waiting there sneezed twice and then, after a pause, for a third time. Each sneeze was well rounded with a clearly audible intake of breath, a fulsome but controlled exhale and a good follow through - a real set of a-tish-oo sneezes! A little later the cashier got the same urge. She turned slightly to her left and put both her hands up to her nose. She closed her eyes and out came a well controlled chish sneeze. A few seconds later the second one came the same as the first. They were both neat sneezes - the sort with the tongue against the top of the mouth with little else audible but the exhalation.
Earlier in the summer I went to another bank. I was served by a youngish girl who looked a bit pale and was sniffing quite a lot. She got half way through the adding up and was struck down by hay fever. What a shame, I thought as I watched her every move. The first sneeze was forward and quite violent. She tried to continue but the fit was not abating. She sneezed to her left, she sneezed to her right. The girl next to her said "Oh not again!". I thought "I've been missing something here!" She finally got the end of the addition, sneezing all the while. She thrust my bank book back at me and rapidly departed to the back office, still sneezing away and she left.
My final report concerns a trip I made by ferry. As I arrived to buy my ticket a young family of husband, wife and small son just got there before me. The young lady bought the tickets. The ferry goes to a holiday resort and they were dressed for a day on the beach. She was wearing a strapless sun top showing off her well (and evenly) tanned shoulders, arms and bits in between. We all boarded the craft and it set off on its short voyage. About three-quarters of the way across I could not believe my luck. I had been reading but was disturbed by a nearby sneeze. It was the bare shouldered girl!!! The first sneeze was not loud but definitely achooo! Would she sneeze again? There was a pause of perhaps thirty seconds. She looked uncomfortable as she fiddled with her nose, presumably in an attempt to prevent a repetition. She was unsuccessful. Her head tilted back slightly and, as her lips curled, she brought her hand up about four inches in front of her mouth, a highly ineffective manoeuvre I felt. The sneeze was quiet and well controlled - just chhh this time. Would that be all? Another pause followed - then up came her hand to its previous position, the head went back a little and chhh again. What next I wondered - she was dressed for the warm day but it was still chilly now as it was not yet eight o'clock. Things seemed on course for number four - her hand came up - her head went back and her mouth opened. But out came a yawn!!!! Rats!!!!
Erin Carroll was sitting in my Science class when her allergies started acting up. After science she said she would have to call her mom. When she did she got her medicine ahe came back up to the room. All of a sudden she started to sneeze and she could not stop. After a while she was left all stuffed. She used about 300 tissues all that day.
I was walking down the boulevard Jourdan in Paris about 4 oíclock one
afternoon, when I noticed at quite a distance a man in his late thirties
come out of a side street and walk in my direction. What drew my attention
from so far was that he had a white handkerchief in his hand, contrasting
with his dark suit. He almost immediately bent forward and caught a sneeze
in the handkerchief. It was quite visibly a sneeze, though not audible
because of the distance. Without blowing his nose he continued in my
direction, but stopped to look in the window of a car display room, and he
was still looking as I drew level. Just as I walked past, he sneezed again
into his handkerchief, with no voice but quite audibly nevertheless. He had
his back to me, and I hoped he hadnít noticed me, because as soon as I had
passed him, I stopped, looked in another window, and then turned back and
followed him as he continued up the boulevard. I canít remember exactly how
many sneezes I saw him catch in his handkerchief as I trailed him a couple
of paces behind, perhaps three or four. Eventually I decided to try to make
contact, so I drew level with him just as I saw the handerchief coming up to
collect the sneeze, and caught his eye as I passed, and called something
like a lot of pollen about. The guy smiled and said it wasnít the pollen,
that he just got sneezing fits from time to time, he didnít know why. He
proved quite willing to talk about his sneezing fits, with only a minimum of
prompting. When we parted, after a couple of minutes walking together, he
thanked me energetically for talking to him and effectively stopping the
sneezing. That was hardly the aim but it did make it more memorable than
just an anonymous sighting. ~John
I was in the car, stopped at an extremely long red light. I look over at the woman in the car next to me and see her rubbing at her nose with both hands, two or three fingers on each side of her nose- rubbing up and down a long, slender, and very pointed nose. She was middle-aged(no more than 40, I'm sure) with short brown hair. She lowered her hands slowly and closed her eyes. Then she brought them back up and started rubbing again quite vigorously. Her eyebrows furrowed, pointing down, and she moved one hand straight out in front of her face about six inches, but continued rubbing with the other hand. All at once she pulled back, her chest rising quite noticeably, and bent forward from the force, her mouth opening just a little and her tiny nostrils flaring into small humps. Of course I couldn't hear her, but she opened her eyes
very fast and wiped her nose on the back of her hand, only to suddenly give another, blocked by the back of her hand- she sneezed three times, following the same pattern, After the last, I saw her straighten in the seat and pull her head up as her nostrils flair even wider(I can only assume she had sniffed very strongly). Then she ran the sleeve of her other hand under her nose and with that hand, rubbed some more at her nose, the two fingers flying fast and hard against the side. Then she closed her eyes again and pinched her nose shut with two fingers, holding tight over both nostrils. Her eyebrows raised, then fell, and she leaned back, pursing her lips tightly, her nostrils fighting to take in air, and I could see her nose was running a lot, too, as it fought her grip. So then she bent forward, head going down with a snap, her mouth opening, but her fingers holding her nose still, one of those held in sneezes that make sound but don't come out... I think... though I don't think she'd
mastered that trick perfectly yet. The sneeze must have got her really good because I could see her nose running ten times what it had been before, and her chest rising heavily, then back down again as she leans back in her seat(sighing? sniffing?). Her eyes closed a moment longer. She wiped her nose on her sleeve again and her nostrils flared once more. Then the light changed and I was forced to go. ~tarotgal
I went out to buy some stuff at the grocery store one afternoon. Though I normally take the stairs, I decided to go with the elevator this time. Good choice! I went down a floor and this guy got on from the floor below and the moment he did I knew I was in for a treat. He looked very washed out and weary, and had from the first moment I saw him "that look" you know, the one that just cries out "Oh God, I'm gonna sneeze AGAIN! Why won't this end?" with his face drooping and his mouth half open. He got in and leaned back into the far corner while I stood in the other corner, on the side with the control panel. Our elevator's really slow and as the doors paused to make sure no one else wanted to get off on, I turned to ask him if he was getting off at the ground floor. I looked over just in time to see him pull out a wrinkled handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket and give a sneeze into it, very wet, very rich, very, very loud. My heart skipped a beat. So I asked him the question finally, my heart leaping into my stomach at each word. And the doors closed. He opened his eyes, his face turned down, covered from nose down with the handkerchief, and looked up at me. He nodded and said a muffled a soft, "ground floor" as he closed his eyes again to blow his nose. He lifted his head and wiped his nose from the right, then the left, and sniffed, staring straight ahead. We'd gone down most of the way by now, only one floor to go, and he had that same distressed look come over him again. He breathed out a few times, though silently, so all I could do was see his chest rising and falling, as he lifted the handkerchief. He let
it down as quickly as it had come up, blinking back tears in watery eyes and sniffing once again. I was thrilled. Then suddenly he covered the lower half of his face again and sneezed hard into the handkerchief very loudly, almost twice that which he had done before, his eyebrows rising but pointing down and inward, his eyes squeezed very tightly shut. His head was thrown downward again, and he looked at me again as he blew his nose even harder and wiped his nose as he'd done before upon straightening out. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I have a cold. It's the weather change." All I could say was "Ah. It's all right. I don't mind." which of course, I didn't! And he nodded. Then came the ground floor and we both got off, him heading straight out the door while I had to check for mail. A veeeeeeery good afternoon! ~tarotgal