Major Arcana:

The Listing

This is a listing of different types of sneezes(inspired by a page I saw with the same concept, different bodily function). It's meant to be funny and informative... perhaps even inspiring! One can wish, can't one? Maybe not... :-)


The Nasal Sneeze
A sneeze coming from the nose only, resulting in little or no spray. It has an almost stifled sound to it, as if held in and sneezed at the same time.

The Stifled Sneeze
A sneeze that starts to come out but the sneezer holds it in. This sneeze might start out as any other, but is clearly distinguishable as stopped on purpose for the release of it is smothered. This is a funny sneeze because the in and out does not match up. It come out the nose more than the mouth.

The Stuffed Sneeze
A sneeze which comes out when the person has a stuffy nose. This sneeze is difficult to detect by ear, apart from the greater release through the nose than mouth. It is, however, clearly visible as the stuffed nose is usually thouroughly cleared by the sneeze.

The Itchy Sneeze
A sneeze that starts out as an itch in the nose. The person may scratch it, thinking nothing of it. Then, it escalates into t sneeze, truning from itch to urge and causing a, perhaps, totally unanticipated sneeze.

The Tiny Sneeze
A typical woman or little girl sneeze in which there seems to be no breath in, and only a soft, small release outward. "choo"

The Quick Sneeze
A sneeze that gives little or no warning and is a quick as a blink in both the in and out parts. When finished, it is as if this sneeze had never been at all.

The Embarrassing Sneeze
A sneeze that is very loud and veeerrry messy. The qualifying factor in this sneeze is the ability of it to happen at the worst time, in front of someone important or a large group of people. It is most effective in turning the sneezer's cheeks red with embarrassment when he/she was not expecting it and does not have time to cover his/her mouth.

The Fake-Out Sneeze
A sneeze that come up, filling the nose, commanding a big intake- but cuts off right before it can come out. This sneeze is most dectectable and interesting when it is drawn out for a long time; the let-down is then more frustrating.

The Wet Sneeze
A sneeze in which the outcome is messy. The wet sneeze results in a great deal of mucus and come out from both nose and mouth in what might be considered a splat. This definitely is not the sneeze to sneeze without one's hanky or tissue ready.

The Need-to-be-Blown Sneeze
A sneeze that somes, bring with is much. Once sneeze, the person feels a huge desire to blow the rest of the sneeze out into a tissue. Sometimes the process cleans the nose and tickles it ever so slightly, enought to make the person immediately sneeze again.

The Strong Sneeze
A sneeze that is lough and powerful, forcing itself through the nose, causing nostrils to flair largely, and resulting in a giant output. "AH-CHOO!"

The Tickle Sneeze
A sneeze that starts as a tiny little tickle in the back of the nose and builds to a stronger tickle, not a sneeze. The person feels it growing stronger and stronger and needs to sneeze, wants to, but cannot. This strong tickle stays and then backs away slowly, sometimes released as a sneeze, mostly just held off. It's a very frustrating, drawn-out one.

The Let-Down Sneeze
A sneeze which starts out to be loud. There is a loud sound of inhaling, as if the sneeze is going to explode out the nose as a strong sneeze. "AHH-" and then it backs away, letting the person sneeze with only a small "choo"

The Revisiting Sneeze
A sneeze which needs to be sneezed at all costs. It will come, tickling hard, even making the person breathe in deeply to let it out- but the person will hold it back. A few moments later, it will tickle again and it's held back. Theis sneeze won't go away, and will eventually have to be sneezed.

The Stuck Sneeze
A sneeze which comes and fills the nose, but cannot be sneezed, as much as the person may want it to be. Many times the stuck sneeze makes this person pause with a stuffed half sneeze expression on his/her face.

The Library Sneeze
A sneeze that comes without warning in a completely silent place filed with people. It is usually very loud and embarrassing, like the embarrassing sneeze, but is different for the sneezer is forced to sneeze and then apologize for it to all, as if it were his/her fault.

The Coughing Sneeze
A series of tiny, coughlike sneezes, so close together that there is no question of drawing breath between each sneeze. Some people who sneeze like this only manage two or three little sneezes, but some come close to ten.

The Shouted Sneeze
A very masculine sneeze often heard on building sites or from body shops. It's given with full voice and can be heard miles off. It's more voice than splash. aaRRAAAASHaa!!!! Rather than achoo. Some hay fever sneezes may start off like this, but it's too tiring a way of sneezing to go on too long.

If you can think of any more, please e-mail me with them. The more creative and funny the better!
BIG thanks to John H. for adding a few! :-)

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