Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:

After my last story I decided to do something a little bit lighter, so here it is: "Friendly Takeover". Hope you enjoy it, but whether you do or not please forward your comments to me at lasher@maui.netwave.net.

DISCLAIMER: The story presented here is in no way intended to infringe upon the established copyrights and trademarks of Paramount Pictures Corporation. However, just about everything Paramount doesn't own is all mine. If you redistribute this story, please don't alter it. If this story makes you tired, please don't operate heavy machinery.

On to the background comments...

STORY SUMMARY: Three small interwoven stories, actually.

1) On the verge of financial ruin, a bedridden Quark hires Garak to run the bar for a few days. Garak, however, has his own not-so-plain-and-simple ideas on how to make a profit.

2) A serial-prankster terrorizes the command crew of Deep Space Nine, and all fingers are pointed squarely at Dax.

1. Kira's pregnant, and the O'Briens and Ziyal are competing for who drives her to the brink of insanity first. The major has a really bad week...

VITAL STATISTICS: "Friendly Takeover" is a story with 9 chapters, and is about 108 pages long. Only an occasional four-letter word and some borderline adult situations would rate this story a "PG".

In my last two stories ("Hypocritic Oath" and "The Pariah Dynamic"), I've had Bashir and Dax involved in a loosely-defined romantic relationship. Since "Friendly Takeover" takes place before "Looking For Par'Mach In All The Wrong Places", I saw no need to change that. The Bashir/Dax relationship isn't a major part of the story, but it does explain a couple minor scenes.

CHRONOLOGY: "Friendly Takeover" takes place one week after the 4th season DS9 episode, "Body Parts". Two of the subplots draw heavily on the circumstances stemming from that episode. In that episode, Quark loses everything and is ostracized by the Ferengi Alliance and Major Kira becomes the surrogate mother for Keiko O'Brien's baby. Here are the major events that *haven't* happened until after "Friendly Takeover":

--Odo's brief sojourn into humanity.

--The blossoming of the Dax/Worf romance.

OTHER STORIES I'VE WRITTEN:

1. Hypocritic Oath

2. The Pariah Dynamic

That's about all the extra information I can think of! Hope you enjoy it!

Table of Contents

Begin: 10/27/96

DS9: "Friendly Takeover"

Chapter One

Nereys crept toward the door. She was deathly quiet. It wasn't easy, considering the baby she carried in her womb and those damned boots she was forced to wear, but she managed to pull it off. She pressed herself close to the wall to prevent her shadow from betraying her, but in spite of all her efforts to escape unnoticed she couldn't bring herself to open the door.

Her captors were in the other room, singing or something. It sounded like they were finishing up whatever they were doing. Any minute now, they would catch her trying to get away and all would be lost. The stakes were high, she needed to escape. And yet, Nereys couldn't forget about those she was leaving behind. It didn't seem right to just bolt out of here---

A strong tingling developed in her nose. It was too late. "Noooo. Not now," She whispered. Then it happened-five powerful sneezes shot out of her like a rapid-fire pulse phaser!

The singing in the other room stopped. They were coming.

Nereys frantically looked around the room, trying to find some cover. It was too far to the room she just left, and she was no longer agile enough to dive behind a piece of furniture. She was caught, there was nothing left to do but wait for them to find her.

The first one to find her was the shortest one. She rounded the corner in her little bathrobe, and was carrying that bunny rabbit doll she liked so much. Molly's bath was over. "There she go agin," She said.

Her mother was right behind her. "How many sneezes was that, Nereys? Five?" Keiko came into the living room. "Does that mean anything? I mean, do you sneeze more, the further along you are?" She flung her hands to the floor to shake off any excess moisture, and slicked back the strands of hair she hadn't managed to tie back.

Nereys froze in place. "Uh, no."

Keiko wiped her hands on her pants. "Are you sneezing too much? You don't think-"

"Keiko," Nereys held up her hands. Her patience (such that it was) was starting to erode, but she was still able to force a smile. "I'm fine, your baby's fine. You know I'd tell you if anything seemed wrong."

It took a couple seconds for that to register, but it did. Keiko rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. It's just that…" She motioned between herself and Nereys. "This sort of thing-I don't know what to expect."

Nereys shrugged her shoulders. "I wish I could be more helpful, but this is new to me, too." She chuckled nervously and looked at the door. So close. She was so close.

Keiko loosened her hair and tied it back again. "Going somewhere?"

She snapped her head back toward Keiko. She had to think fast. "Ummm," Nereys pointed toward the door. "Aroma sticks. I was going to stop by my quarters to get some aroma sticks. For my meditation." Nereys was pleased enough with that last-minute answer; she smiled again, and this time she meant it.

Keiko motioned toward the dining table. "You already have aroma sticks here." Nereys followed Keiko's hand, and sure enough, it pointed to a canister chock-full of aroma sticks sitting on the coffee table.

Damn! Nereys thought. "Well……those are all tresil. I'm in the mood for something more outdoorsy tonight, so I was going to bring back some cordeene."

"You don't have to go all the way back to your quarters. I'm sure Miles would be happy to pick them up on his way home."

Nereys furrowed her brow. Keiko was clever all right-always one step ahead of her. "Oh….no. He's already working a late shift, I don't want to bother him with something silly like this. I can get it." She took one more step toward the door, another step and the door would open. It wouldn't be long now!

Kieko nodded. "All right. Just give us a couple minutes to clean up. Go get dressed, Molly." Molly meandered back to her room, dragging her bunny rabbit along with her.

"Huh?"

"Like you said, Miles is working late tonight. We're going to be having dinner late tonight anyway, so I thought I might as well tag along."

"Then I have to go to Ops, too!" Nereys blurted out those words much louder than she intended. Keiko noticed it, too--a strange look was on her face. "What I mean," Nereys said, "Is that I was going to Ops after I stopped by my quarters. I forgot I still have a report to finish……the report is about our communications relay in the Gamma Quadrant."

Keiko slid her hands into her back pockets. "The relay is over a year old, what is there to report about it?"

"I'm afraid it's really…top secret. I need to do a lot of data-crunching, so it's probably going to take a while to finish." Anticipating Keiko's next question, Nereys answered it ahead of time. "A couple of hours. At least. In fact, when Miles comes back you should start dinner without me."

"All right," Keiko said.

"I'll try not to be too late." Nereys took that last precious step toward the door, which wooshed it open. With her back to Keiko, she closed her eyes. Free at last, free at last. Thank the Prophets, she was free at last!

She was halfway out the door, when Keiko yelled, "Wait!" Keiko grabbed a sweater off the couch and handed it out to Nereys. "It's been kind of cool on the station lately-"

Another ten seconds of this, and Nereys was going to scream. "I'm fine. See you in a few hours." She walked out into the corridor, and let the door shut behind her before Keiko was able to say anything else.

FIRST OFFICER'S PERSONAL LOG-STARDATE 49861.6: "What was I thinking? The O'Briens ask me to live with them until their baby comes to term, and what do I say? 'That's an awfully big step, let me think about it?' Nooo! Like an idiot, I say 'yes' on the spot, without even stopping to think how much this was going to affect my life!

"The O'Briens are good people, and even if I thought about it first, I probably still would've said 'yes'. But I've been on my own since the Occupation ended, and I've gotten used to it. I'm not used to this constant attention. I think the world of Miles and Keiko, but they're starting to drive me crazy!

"Still, it could be worse. When my nerves are on edge, I can always stop by my own quarters for a little peace and quiet."

Kira strolled toward her quarters, but her mind was elsewhere. Among other things, she was trying to figure out just how she was going to explain away the big fat lie she just told Keiko about being in Ops for the next few hours! Miles was bound to discover she hadn't gone there. Sure, she could always go to Ops for a couple of hours and catch up on some work, but the whole point in getting away from the O'Briens was to get some privacy-and there wasn't a whole hell of a lot of privacy in Ops!

She had at least two hours to figure out what to do. For now, the first order of business was to light up a cordeene stick and bask in the dark silence of her home. She found her door and went to punch in her security code to unlock her quarters.

Except it wasn't necessary. The door was unlocked. Kira hesitated, but remembered Miles entered her quarters late last night to get her bottle of skin lotion. She shrugged. Must have forgotten to lock the door behind him-going to have to tell him about that. Kira pressed the 'open' pad.

When the door slid open, the stark scent of cordeene wafted into her nose. She could taste the crisp aroma, too-the stick must have been burning for awhile. Someone was in Kira's quarters, and her uninvited visitor was making himself right at home. But who was it?

It took all of one-half second to find the answer. The lights weren't on, so she couldn't tell who they were at first. Directly ahead, there were two slender figures silhouetted against the viewport inside Kira's quarters, sitting on the window sill. They both turned around in shock, and when Kira got a better look at the feminine shape, she knew who it was. Her neck had ridges on either side, and was exceptionally wide, obviously Cardassian. Obviously Ziyal.

And she was alone with a male in a darkened room, burning incense! "Computer: lights," Kira yelled. When the lights flickered on, her eyes bulged open wider than the wormhole itself! The boy she was with was Jake Sisko!

Kira stood stark-still in the doorway. She glared at Jake, then Ziyal. Then Jake again. She said nothing.

Ziyal and Jake were too shocked to speak. They looked at Kira glaring at them, then looked at each other.

Finally Jake found the nerve to speak. He laughed, but it was a guilty laugh and it didn't put Kira at ease at all. "I know what this looks like, but-"

Jake nearly tripped over the lower lip of the doorway when Kira scooted him out of her quarters. "Major-"

Her response came from deep inside her quarters, she was already making a beeline for Ziyal. "We'll talk later, Sisko! Computer: shut the door!" The door complied, and in doing so, nearly took off Jake's nose.

Jake looked around to see if anyone witnessed this embarrassment. Luckily, no one did. He slid his hands into his pockets, and made his way home. Dad was going to give him the business, and to make matters worse, he wasn't going to be back for four more days.

No one would be able to protect him from Major Kira.

"Just what the hell do you think you were doing!?" Kira paced around Ziyal like a predator. "In my quarters-my quarters!" She shook her head. "When I told you my door was always open, this wasn't the sort of thing I had in mind!"

Ziyal crossed her arms and responded tiredly. "Nereys-"

Kira stopped. "Just….just tell me one thing: is this the first time, or have you done this before?"

"Done what before!?" Ziyal's blue eyes flashed hotly at Kira.

Kira wiggled her hand around. "You know."

Ziyal nodded furiously. "That is right-I know! The problem is you do not! If you had let Jake explain instead of throwing him out, he would have told you that we were just watching for the comet!"

"The comet?"

"Yes, the comet! You know, that big blue piece of ice that circles the station every week? I mentioned to Jake that I could not predict which side of the station it would be facing-you know, because the station rotates?" Ziyal turned toward the viewport and thrust out her hands. "He offered to show me the comet the next time it passed, and it just happened to be on this side of the habitat ring! Oh look, Nereys! There it is now!" Kira craned her head to look outside and sure enough, a glittering blue mass tumbled in the distance.

Kira's back began to ache. She bent herself back to relieve some of the pressure, but it only helped a little. "If you two were only here to watch that, why were you watching it in the dark-in my quarters?"

Ziyal huffed. "Think about it Nereys. The comet is easier to see with the lights off. And would you have felt better if I had been huddled in the dark with Jake in his quarters? Or mine?"

"I would have felt better if you had watched the comet from the promenade," Kira said. Ziyal turned her back to her. Aggressiveness was getting her nowhere, so Kira counted to seven and changed her tone of voice. "Ziyal, I know Jake is a decent young man, but this is exactly the type of situation some other men might use to take advantage of you."

Ziyal turned back to Kira. "If Jake is so decent, why did you throw him out?" When Kira didn't answer, she nodded. "I see. I am the one you do not trust."

"It's not like that," Kira said. "You were a prisoner of the Breen for most of your life. You haven't been exposed to other species for very long, you aren't even that familiar with the average Cardassian way of life."

"Your faith in me is touching," Ziyal said, as she walked back to the center of the room.

"What would you have me do, Nerys? Ever since my father sent me here, all I have done is walk around the station aimlessly, or just stay in my quarters altogether. When you are on duty, I have no one to talk to or visit with. The other Bajorans have not exactly been rolling out the red carpet for me-"

"Have they been bothering you? It's Tavro Etrigan, isn't it?"

Ziyal held up her hand to silence her. "The point is, I need to make some friends around here. I cannot stay hidden in my quarters until Cardassia pardons my father." She put her hand on Kira's shoulder. "Nereys, I need a reason to get out of bed in the morning."

Thirty minutes later, Nereys was sitting at a table in Quark's. After she finished telling Odo and Jadzia Dax her story, Odo waited for Jadzia to go first. She didn't say anything at first, but spoke after she took a sip of her altair water. "Do you think she has a point?"

Nereys dipped her finger into her cup of raktajino and stirred softly. "Yes, but…" Quark yelled again, so loudly she couldn't finish her thought. Jadzia and Odo looked beyond her to see what was going on behind his bar. When they finally saw what was going on, Jadzia looked down into her glass and laughed under her breath, while Odo gloated with his toothless grin.

Nereys turned around to see what all the commotion was about. She wasn't sure why, but Quark was dripping wet--every centimeter of his body was soaked.

However, she could care less about him right now. "She missed out on so much already. The Breen may have forced her to grow up fast, but she's still so naïve when it comes to personal relationships."

"Oh, I wouldn't go so far as to say Ziyal is naïve," Odo said. "Don't forget, she was the one who lit the incense." He leaned in toward Nereys and lowered his voice. "Fragrances play a major part in Cardassian foreplay."

Jadzia's mouth fell. "Odo! Ziyal lighting an aroma stick doesn't mean she's after Jake. It may have been innocent, just like she said."

He laughed defiantly. "Innocent!"

"And even if it wasn't what she said it was, she could do a lot worse than Jake Sisko." Jadzia patted Nereys' hand. While she was pulling her hand back, a weird smile appeared on her face. Then she started laughing.

"What's so funny," Nereys said as she drank some of her raktajino.

"I've got this picture-" Jadzia's laughter became so strong, her altair water went down the wrong pipe. When she found the chance to speak again, her words came out in rasps. "If Jake and Ziyal were to ever get married, Dukat would be Benjamin's in-law!" Jadzia pounded her hand on the table and laughed even harder. Odo grinned widely and jiggled his head.

Nereys didn't want to laugh, but the image was too much. She laughed a couple of times and waved her hand between her two friends. "You aren't exactly putting my mind at ease."

Odo recovered from the joke much faster than Jadzia did. While Jadzia was trying to stop laughing, he drummed his fingers on the table. "Well you said yourself that she lacks a purpose here. Why not give her one?"

Nereys followed his train of thought. "You mean make her a part of the crew?" It was so simple, she chastised herself for not thinking of it sooner.

He shrugged. "She doesn't have to be an actual member of the crew. Some of the station civilians often work with us on various research projects and science missions. Mrs. O'Brien is a perfect example."

She bounced a finger toward Odo. "You are absolutely right! In fact, I know one team Ziyal would be perfect for!" Nereys slowly slid her chair away from the table and got up. "Thanks."

By the time Nereys left the bar, Jadzia stopped laughing-until she took another look at Quark's soggy self. When she finally settled down, Odo nudged her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Jadzia smiled. "Let's go."

Rom considered his joining Deep Space Nine's engineering crew the smartest move he ever made. So far, he had only been performing minor repair tasks during the gamma shift, but he didn't mind at all; it was still a much better deal than he had working under his brother, Quark. The hours were better, the pay was a lot better, he enjoyed his job and he got a lot more respect. However, from time to time, Rom became nostalgic about the 'good old days' when he was Quark's lowly bartender, and he could never understand why.

That feeling evaporated thirty seconds after he agreed to take a look at Quark's replicator. Before Rom even got the access panels off, Quark badgered him about how slowly he was working. Some things never change.

Rom carefully negotiated his head into the access port, but his ears still scraped against the edges of the opening. Rather irritating, but it was a whole lot better than brushing a lobe against a power line! When the Cardassians designed the access ports, Ferengi ergonomics was the last thing they had in mind.

Come to think of it, Quark didn't take his brother's ergonomic requirements into consideration, either. "Well," He asked loudly.

"I'll tell you if I find anything, Brother," Rom said. "And you can stop yelling, I hear you just fine." He felt several drops of fluid tap the small of his back. "Stop standing over me! You're making it hard enough for me to concentrate, I don't need you dripping synthehol all over me!"

Quark shuffled away a couple meters. "Oh excuse me-'genius at work!' You'd think the Bajoran corps would teach you some respect."

Rom would have shaken his head, but that simple gesture might have electrocuted him. "They did, but they also told us not to put up with any crap, either." He could hear Quark stammer outside in disbelief.

"Such language! Just don't you forget-I'm not only your older brother, I'm your customer now!" As Quark spoke, Rom could just picture him poking his thumb into his chest, just like he always did when he was trying to puff himself up. "Come to think of it, is there some sort of customer satisfaction questionnaire I can fill out?"

"Calm down, Brother." Rom sighed, and tinkered with the replicator circuitry. Nothing seemed out of order, so he gently backed his head out from underneath the food slot. He was about to report to Quark, but Odo, who was now standing on the other side of the bar, spoke to Quark first.

"Yes, Quark, calm down."

Quark spun around so quickly, some excess synthehol sprayed on Odo and Dax. "Calm down? I'd like to see you be calm after getting soaked from head to toe!"

Dax leaned over the bar. "What's the problem?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Quark said, and turned on Rom. "What's the problem?"

Before Quark even finished his last sentence, Rom talked into the replicator. "Looktle milk." The food slot glowed and created a stubby glass of light blue fluid. When the drink materialized, Rom huffed at Quark.

Quark narrowed his eyes and looked into the replicator. "You fixed it?"

"There's nothing wrong with it!"

"Nothing wrong with it!? Look at me!" Quark thrust his arms in the air, sprinkling more fluid on everyone around him.

Rom took the glass of lookle milk out of the replicator and drank it all at once. "There's nothing wrong with it. This tastes great."

"I didn't just imagine this," Quark said.

"Apple cider, hot." The replicator made Dax's drink, without a hitch. When the order solidified, Rom took out the glass mug and handed it off to her. She blew into the cider, and cautiously took a sip. She held up the glass and shook her head. "Seems to be working all right."

"Fine." Quark looked at Odo, Dax and Rom, and edged up alongside the replicator. "Brown ale, stout!" Nothing.

Rom's ears pricked up a little. He tapped a few pads on the food slot, and it appeared to be functioning properly-only, no ale. "The vocal interface contacts might be dirty, I suppose…" He kneeled back down and started to remove the access panel again.

The moment Quark leaned over Rom-and right in front of the replicator-the food slot belched out a hefty blast of brown ale right into his face! Brown, cold fluid showered all over him for a full five seconds. Dax, Odo and Rom got some ale splattered on them, too, but Quark bore the brunt of the blast. Once the computer-generated tsunami was over, the replicator gave him a parting squirt of ale before it finally shut down. Quark stood up straight and backed away from the evil food slot. He snapped his head toward Odo and Dax to see if they thought the whole thing was funny, which of course they did.

When Rom got back up on his feet, Quark gently grasped him by the arms, and shouted, "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A DIRTY CONTACT TO YOU!!!!????" He smacked Rom's ear and walked away. "I'm going back to my quarters to change clothes, I want that replicator from Destitution fixed!!"

Things were shaping up just wonderfully for Quark. Last week, he got blackballed by the FCA, lost half his work force, and surrendered all his worldly possessions. This week, he quadrupled his outstanding debt to keep the bar from closing, while everything inside the bar began to break down-a holosuite, the Terran slot machine, and even the glasses!

This public humiliation was the final straw. It was bad enough to live off the charity of others (even if it is coming from friends), but to be made a laughing stock in your establishment, too? It was time to get the hell out of there before he drew anymore attention to himself. Quark was so mad he couldn't see straight!

Literally. As Quark made his way to the exit, the entire world started to swim around him. A high pitched whine danced on the upper end of his hearing range. He stopped and looked back toward Rom, but the sound wasn't coming from him or that blasted contraption. That rotten second-hand dabo wheel must be acting up again, Quark said to himself.

He started walking again, but the noise and his vision didn't get any better-in fact, they got worse. As his surroundings gradually swirled together, the frequency of the whining fell to a dull hum. Darkness closed in on the edges of his vision, and his legs began to soften. By the time he decided to ask for help, he was already slipping into unconsciousness.

Quark could barely make out the look of concern on Odo's face before it became part of the smearing surroundings. Way in the background, he could hear some drugged animal roar. Or was Dax saying something? At any rate, it was the last thing Quark thought about before the side of his head hit the edge of the bar.

Before Quark even hit the deck, Odo jumped over the bar and landed next to him. Odo almost turned Quark onto his back, but stopped himself. He didn't know much about medicine, but he remembered it wasn't wise to move a patient until a medic arrived.

"Quark!" Odo grabbed his shoulder and yelled louder. "Quark?!"

~~~~~~~~~~

By Lasher (lasher@maui.netwave.net)

Table of Contents

DS9: "Friendly Takeover"

Chapter Two

When Quark opened his eyes, a sharp, ugly, conical piece of metal was staring him straight in the face, only centimeters from his eye. Where was he? An evil alien's laboratory? A Cardassian prison? The Vedek Assembly?

"WAAAGGGUUHHHH!" Quark squealed like a lethargic siren and flailed his arms and legs about. It probably made for an embarrassing sight, but at this point, who cared!? At least he was able to knock that dangerous weapon away from his face!

Quark's choreographed seizure had him teetering off the edge of the table he lay upon. However, before he tipped off, one of the goons keeping him prisoner grabbed him with his wiry hands and hoisted him back on the table. "Oh, for God's sake, Quark," The thug said, "Will you settle down? I could have poked your eye out!" There was something about that thug's annoying voice that sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

Quark finally got a good look at who was holding him, and saw it was Doctor Bashir. "Oh, it's you!" Quark stopped struggling, and saw that Dax and Odo were standing over him as well. As he looked around, he saw that he wasn't in some cold dungeon, but in the infirmary.

"Nice to see you, too." Bashir released Quark and brought that nasty looking probe up to his face again. "This is to scan the flow of your aural canals. Hold still." Bashir hovered the medical device over Quark's face and slowly panned it from one side of the head to the other. Once done, Bashir pulled the tool away and shut it off. "Thought so."

"What?" Quark said apprehensively.

"You've got a grade-4 case of yoorsam nee'th."

Dax folded her arms. "'Yoorsam'--?"

"It's a Ferengi ear infection brought on by abnormally high levels of pyrocite in the bloodstream," Bashir said. "If left untreated, it can cause blackouts and permanent loss of hearing-" When he saw Quark's look of fright, he waved off his concerns. "Don't worry, I administered a troaqua series before any permanent damage set in."

Odo didn't seem satisfied. "What causes yoorsam nee'th?"

"Well, it's not communicable." Bashir blew a breath out and scratched the back of his neck. "Nee'th is usually brought on by chronic stress. Given what's happened to Quark in the last week, I'd say that was the case here."

"Could this somehow be caused by the replicator malfunction?"

"No. Yoorsam nee'th takes several days to achieve grade-4 status." Bashir placed a hand on Quark's shoulder. "In fact, I'm surprised you didn't collapse sooner, Quark. You've got exceptionally stout inner ears."

Quark accepted the complement (it was a complement, wasn't it?) halfheartedly. "Make sure you spell my name right in your medical journal. Now, if you'll excuse me-I'm soaked and smell like booze." He moved to get off the table, but Bashir stopped him.

"Hold on, Quark. You can't go."

"Can't go? I thought you cured me."

Bashir nodded. "I gave you a troaqua series, but it's going to take a week to flush the excess pyrocite out of your system and neutralize the infection. Your inner ear won't be up to it's usual level of activity, so you're going to have to stay in bed until you're cured."

"Forget it," Quark said, laughing. "I can't stay bedridden for an hour, much less a week." He took a deep breath and started to get up once more.

"Quark, maybe you should-" Dax cut her sentence short when he swiped his hand at her.

"He's overreacting. Like the doctor said, I have stout ears." Quark slowly sat up in his bed. He carefully studied his surroundings for distorted images. None were present. He listened intently for any distorted sounds. His hearing wasn't as good as it usually was, but that was to be expected. Then, just to be safe, he waited for some other bad side effect to waylay him. Nothing happened. Quark grinned and made a pointed look at Bashir. "See?" He swung his legs around so they dangled off the side of the bed. "'Week and a half'!" He snorted and bounced off the bed.

The instant Quark's feet touched the ground, his entire body tilted off to the left. Before Dax and Bashir could catch him, his legs collapsed and he went crashing down to the deck-right on his ear! The pain was so great, Quark was unable to take in enough breath to screech. Dax and Bashir used the calm to gently place him back on the bed.

"You might be on to something, Quark," Odo said. "Some of your customers might be interested enough in your pratfalls to wager on how long you can stay standing."

Bashir shot an impatient look at Odo. "I think we should let him rest."

Dax took his cue. "Come on, we should see what Rom has found." Odo took one last look toward Quark, a more sympathetic look this time, and followed her out of the infirmary.

Dax and Odo were halfway to Quark's when they saw Rom emerge from the bar. He looked like he had torn the replicator apart-his ears were red and chafed, and his uniform was wrinkled and dirty. When he noticed Dax and Odo, he straightened his uniform and stood at attention in the middle of the promenade.

Odo, not knowing what to make of Rom's ridiculous formality, turned to Dax. She looked curiously at him and turned back to Rom. "At ease, Technician." Rom fell into a comfortable stance instantly, and made a hopeful gesture toward the infirmary. "Quark has a bad ear infection, but he's going to be fine," Dax said.

Rom stood a little taller when he heard the news, but Odo didn't give him much time to bask in his relief. "What about the replicator?"

"The replicator is fixed, sir!" When Rom shouted out his reply, Dax winced and stepped away from him, but Odo didn't seem to be affected by his volume one way or the other. Without another word, Rom continued toward the infirmary, but Odo stopped him.

"What was the cause of the malfunction, Rom?"

"Oh, right." Rom grinned sheepishly. "The interface subroutine in Quark's replicator was rewritten to execute a different set of instructions whenever he tried to use it."

Dax looked toward Odo. "Sabotage."

"Uhhh, I guess," Rom said, "But all the new code did was spray Quark's drink order all over him. The replicator matrices weren't altered at all. Except for making my brother really, really wet, no harm was done."

Odo nodded. "Nevertheless, reprogramming a replicator isn't something to be taken lightly." He jerked his head toward the bar. "I want you to give me a re-"

Rom pulled an isolinear rod out of his uniform and handed it over to Odo. "Report?"

Odo took the rod from Rom's hand and regarded him favorably. "I'll contact you if I need any additional information for my investigation." After a few moments, Rom was still standing in front of him. "You're dismissed, Technician."

"Yes sir!" Rom trotted off toward the infirmary.

Dax watched Rom leave, then looked back to Odo and crossed her arms. "Sometimes, I think he enjoys his job a little too much." She smiled at him, but he didn't return the favor. Instead Odo looked at Dax as though he were trying to read her mind. "What?"

Odo tilted his head toward her. "I was just thinking, it's about that time again."

"What are you talking about? Time for what?"

"Another one of those trademarked 'Jadzia Dax practical jokes' you seem to enjoy so much." Odo looked off toward nothing in particular. "As I recall, it was six months ago when you moved around all my furniture…"

Dax stifled a laugh and looked toward the ground.

"…And three months ago when you deactivated the artificial gravity in my quarters while I was regenerating."

Dax looked off to the side and planted her tongue firmly in her cheek.

"You've played a prank approximately every three months," Odo said, "And if the pattern holds, it's about time to inflict another one. Could you possibly be setting your sights on someone else this time?"

She stopped laughing under her breath, but continued to grin. "You think I tampered with Quark's replicator?"

Odo smiled back at her and narrowed his eyes. "Did you?"

"No."

"That's what you said when I confronted you about the artificial gravity."

Dax rolled her eyes. "All right. I rigged the gravity in your quarters-"

"I knew it." Odo folded his arms and grunted.

"-But I wasn't the one who made Quark's replicator spray drinks all over him." Dax laughed under her breath. "I wish I had, though. That was a good one.

"I have to report to Ops." Dax started to leave, but she turned back to Odo and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do me a favor, Constable; when you do find out who did it, let me know. I'd like to buy that person a drink." With an impish smile, Dax folded her arms behind her back and left Odo to his investigation.

"A week," Rom said. "I'm sorry, brother."

Quark shifted uneasily in his new bed in the infirmary's patient ward. "He's sorry," He said to some unseen somebody. "Unless you can start selling 'sorrys' for latinum, they aren't going to help me."

Rom stiffened up. "I know you're in a lot of debt, but your friends aren't going to let you lose the bar-they've proven that already! Besides you're debt's already astronomical, what real difference is a week going to make?"

"It's all the difference in the world!" Quark turned around to make sure no one else heard his outburst. Fortunately, the only other patient in the ward was too far away to hear. He beckoned Rom to come closer. "In order to buy the second-hand gambling equipment, I had to borrow 175 bars of gold-pressed latinum from…Cannisterro Luvis."

Rom's mouth dropped. "Cannisterro 'The Tentacle' Luvis!?"

Quark shot a finger up against his mouth and waved his hand frantically. "Will you shut up," He hissed.

Rom made a concerted effort to whisper. "You asked him for a loan!? Are you crazy!?"

"I didn't want to!" Quark noticed his voice was carrying, so he started to whisper again. "Cannisterro was the only rich Bajoran who would still have anything to do with me after Brunt took everything away! The point is, I agreed to repay the entire loan in ten days." Quark sighed. "The loan comes due in five days, and I only have a third of what I need."

Rom shook his absently. "I didn't think you made that much latinum in an entire month."

"Not usually," Quark said. "The Federation's Diversity Festival is being held three systems away. When the festival concludes in two days, Deep Space Nine will be overrun with tens of thousands of visitors-and they'll have disposable income coming out of their ears!" He looked around to make sure no one else walked in. "In those few days, I should be able to make enough profit to not only pay off the Cannisterro loan, but a couple of smaller ones, too."

"Well, maybe if you explain to him that you're sick, he'll understand."

Quark grabbed Rom by the uniform and pulled him down toward him. "Ask Ka Rotan how understanding Cannisterro can be!"

"Ka-- Wasn't he that minister who disappeared last year?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Quark released Rom so roughly, he almost knocked him down. And if I don't repay the loan in full and on time, I'll disappear too!" Quark's eyes darted across the ceiling. "If I can't run the bar, I'll need to find someone who can."

Rom scratched his head. "Surely there's someone in the bar who could run things for awhile."

"There was," Quark said, "But all the Ferengi employees are gone now. All I have are waiters and dabo girls, they aren't qualified to manage the bar." Then he looked upon Rom. "But you are."

"I just started in engineering, Brother, I can't take time off from my job now." Rom said. "Maybe if I told Chief O'Brien why I have to take time off--"

"No! Don't tell anyone! Do you understand? Not anyone!" Quark plopped down on his back.

"What about Morn? He's run the bar before."

"Yeah, badly. He's still in the Gamma Quadrant taste-testing beverages for me at the Pargo distillery." He shook his head. "No, I need someone who knows how to run an establishment. Someone who knows how to conduct business, relate to customers." Quark licked his teeth. "Someone who's observant, conniving, ruthless…"

"Me!?" Garak's eyes bulged open. "Last week, you wanted me to kill you! And now--now you want me to run your bar? Have you finally gone insane?"

To this, Quark only smiled. "Not at all. You know how to get things done. That's why I turned to you when I wanted to put a contract out on my own life, and that's why I want you to run the bar until I recover."

"Really? Are you sure this time?" Garak approached Quark's bed and looked down at him. He moved with such speed and such stealth, that Quark found it a little creepy. "After all, when you asked me to terminate you, you changed your mind the very next day."

Quark fought the urge to cringe. "By the way, I want to thank you again for letting me change my mind like that. But to answer your question, no, I'm not going to change my mind. I think you're perfectly tailored for this job. You're already familiar with running a business, and you're friendlier than any business partner I've had in the last fifteen years!

When Quark stopped to take a breath, Garak jumped in. "I'm flattered you thought of me, but I already have a business. I have neither the time, nor the energy to run two." Garak blinked slowly and flashed a ghostly smile.

Garak was the most accomplished liar Quark ever met, but he wasn't hiding his feelings very well this time. Garak wanted it. He wanted it so badly he couldn't help but say it in the way he moved and talked--the words falling out of his mouth were meaningless. "Then close your shop," Quark said. "I'll let you keep ten percent of the daily profits until I return. That's going to add up to a lot of latinum once the Diversity Festival ends."

Garak's mouth dropped slightly. "You're serious."

"Of course I am." Quark struggled to sit up. Garak noticed this and gently helped him . "Garak, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I'm nearly bankrupt. The next week is either going to make me or break me, and I don't want to go down without a fight."

Garak considered his request, but eventually shook his head. "I don't know…"

"Don't you miss it, Garak? Don't you miss being the center of attention, being the one everyone comes to when they want their desires fulfilled? Don't you miss working in a place where your…sense of style is actually appreciated?" That line was the clincher. Quark could see it in his eyes-Garak was going to do it. "I can bring those days back, for a little while anyway." Then Quark offered Garak his hand. "What do you say?"

"Fifteen percent," Garak said.

"Twelve percent," Quark said softly, "And not a slip more."

Garak's nondescript mask fell back into place. He smiled innocently and took Quark's hand. "Why not? It promises to be a very rewarding experience."

Quark forced a smile. For my sake, I hope it is.

It was an hour after closing, and Quark's was locked up tight. The employees were gone, chairs were perched atop their tables, and there was barely enough light for a human to see where he was going. But it was plenty of light for Garak. The bar took on a whole new life; the darkness gave it added depth, he thought. He peeked inside all the holosuites and walked across every square centimeter of the upper level, like the proud captain of a starship.

His footsteps echoed crisply from all corners of the upper level now that there were no customers around to soak up the vibrations. It was a rather pleasant sound, actually. Reminded him of old times, when he walked the hallways of that complex on Cardassia IV. What was the name of that place? Oh well-it didn't matter. What mattered was, he liked it there, felt important there. Come to think of it, he was important there...

Garak descended the spiral staircase to the lower level. He felt important here, too. After all, the bar was his now. Of course, the arrangement was only temporary, but this was a marvelous opportunity to stretch into a new enterprise. Six years locked in a stifling tailor's shop-well, it's just been too long.

He hummed a harsh melody under his breath, and playfully spun the low-rent dabo wheel as he meandered past it. The whole place looked dreary, actually. One could probably place part of the blame on the used furniture and the second-hand gaming tables, but it was more than that-much more. Although the lighting was perfect for Cardassians, it wasn't very inviting for anyone else. And the colors! Back when that Cardassian idiot designed this bar twenty-three years ago, Garak remembered telling the station commander that the decorator should have his eyes plucked out. The Gul didn't take his complaint seriously, he just laughed. And now, here it was twenty-three years later. That Gul was still missing and the decor hadn't changed a bit.

He leaned forward. The view was glorious, one could see the entire lower level from behind the bar. The floor back there was a little higher, probably to make it easier for Quark to reach his customers. However for Garak, it made him feel imposing. It had been so long!

Garak couldn't help himself-he smiled. He smiled a big smile. He spun around and smartly tapped the replicator behind him. "Tarkalean Tea." Just to be safe, Garak stepped away from the opening while the beverage materialized. When nothing unusual happened, he removed the cup from the food slot and turned the machine off.

As he took a sip, he heard some soft, electronic noises coming from outside. The doors to the main entrance gently opened. Light shot from the opening, forcing Garak to squint. Instinctively, he reached down toward his hip to grab a nonexistent phaser.

Rom shuffled into Quark's with a small collection of PADDs, isolinear rods and keys. He made his way toward the bar, and plopped down the items he was carrying. When he looked up and saw Garak, he jumped up a couple of centimeters and gave a mercifully brief shriek! Garak said nothing, he just looked at Rom with that eager look it took him so many years to master.

Rom clutched his chest and laughed nervously. "You-you scared me." Then he looked back toward the door he just unlocked. "How did you get in here?"

"Someone must have forgotten to lock one of the doors," Garak said. He picked up a couple of the isolinear rods. "I take it the contract has been formalized."

Rom offered Garak a Ferengi PADD. "Here is a copy of the agreement, with my brother's thumbscan." Rom picked up another PADD and slid it toward Garak. "This is a list of supplies my brother planned on ordering in the morning, and…."

Garak held up one of the rods he was holding with a curious look on his face. "Those are the new holosuite programs," Rom said. "I found them in my brother's quarters when I went to pick up the work schedule."

"Quark keeps the holosuite programs in his quarters?"

Rom blushed. "Just the new ones. He doesn't release them to the general public until a month after he gets them. He says it's to ensure quality for the customers, but I think-"

Garak looked up toward the ceiling. "I...get the picture." He placed the rod back on the bar and rifled through the other items Rom brought. "Well, it looks like everything is here."

"I think that's it," Rom said. "If you need anything else-"

"Actually, I imagine that Quark's 'suppliers' would be rather uncomfortable dealing with an unfamiliar face. I was wondering, could you place the order for me?"

Rom considered it. "Uh…..okay."

Then Garak pulled out his own PADD from under the bar. "And as long as you are talking to them, could you also place an order for these items, as well?" He handed Rom the list.

Rom glanced at the list, and looked at Garak apprehensively. "I don't know…"

Garak reached out and placed his hand on Rom's. "Rom, I know the coming week is important to Quark, and that's why I want to make sure it is as profitable as possible." He nodded toward his PADD. "I think these might help." When Rom started to protest again, Garak held up his hands. "Naturally, I'll use my own funds to pay for them."

"Well, as long as you're trying to help…"

Garak blinked pleasantly and came from behind the bar. He put his arm across Rom's shoulder and led him toward the exit. "Thank you, Rom." Once Rom was out in the promenade, Garak grabbed the doors to the bar.

"Oh Rom," Garak said. "Please don't tell Quark about this. He needs his rest, ...and I'd like this to be a surprise." Before Rom got a chance to reply, Garak shut the doors and locked them.

Garak sighed. Everything was going as planned. He strolled alongside the bar, sliding a finger across it as he walked by. He stopped abruptly and rubbed his finger against his thumb. A little sticky. He'd have to talk to the employees tomorrow.

Rom scratched his head and looked back at Garak's PADD. "'Birds?'"

~~~~~~~~~~

By Lasher (lasher@maui.netwave.net)

Table of Contents

DS9: "Friendly Takeover"

Chapter Three

It was 0617 hours. Miles O'Brien shuffled out of the bedroom and into the dining area. There, Keiko sat at the table sipping a tall glass of orange juice. Even at 6:00 in the morning, that woman was the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes on. "Morning," She said.

"It's a quarter past six," Miles said, "Why didn't you wake me?"

Keiko nodded toward the bathroom. "Nerys is still in the shower."

'Nerys is still in the shower.' That turned into a familiar refrain in the O'Brien household. Both Kira and Miles got up at the same time, so it was a race to see which of them would make it to the bathroom first. Kira usually won, unfortunately. That woman took forever in the bathroom. The worst part is that he couldn't even go in there to brush his teeth-how could he? A naked woman other than his wife would be just a meter away!

Keiko leaned back against her chair. "Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I haven't had a chance to use the bathroom either."

"For someone who spent a good chunk of her life in the Resistance, she sure takes hot water for granted," He mumbled. Miles tightened the sash on his robe and walked further into the room.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Keiko started to get up, but Miles gently patted her shoulders.

"I'll get it." He gave her a quick peck on the lips, then subtly averted his face from hers. Keiko may be the most beautiful woman in the quadrant, but her morning breath could use a little work.

He lumbered over to the replicator and leaned against the wall. "Two eggs, over easy, one bowl of hash brown casserole and a cup of coffee, double sweet." Miles yawned a couple times. When his food was ready, he took the plate and cup out of the replicator and sat at the table opposite Keiko. He took a large gulp of coffee, and shoved in a generous mouthful of eggs. Heaven.

Miles saw an unused PADD sitting on the table a couple meters away from him. He reached out and slid the PADD over toward him. "Computer: establish a data link with this PADD and download today's engineering maintenance schedule and pending work requests."

"<Link with Personal Access Display Device DS900042 established. Voice authorization for confidential engineering files approved for Chief Petty Officer Miles Edward O'Brien. Download commencing.>"

When the main computer finished transmitting the requested information, Miles glossed over the day's schedule, which wasn't much of anything. The past couple of weeks were very quiet, so he used the time to calibrate, optimize, enhance and refit virtually every system on the station. Now even the cranky Cardassian machines were behaving themselves, and Miles was running out of things for his crews to do. Maybe someone placed a maintenance request last night….

Bingo. There was a request on queue. In fact, there were a lot of them. Miles furrowed his brow. "What the--?"

"What is it," Keiko said.

"Garak. Garak filed a slew of work requests--for Quark's bar!"

"Garak? Why?"

Miles shook his head. "I don't know, but these aren't garden variety work orders. These call for a major remodeling!" He grunted. "And he wants them done yesterday-now that sounds familiar!"

Keiko reached over and took the PADD from Miles so she could see the list. "This must be some sort of joke."

Miles wasn't convinced of that at all. Garak didn't play games. Okay, he played games--he just didn't play these kind of games.

The shower shut off. Miles scarfed down as much food and coffee as he could before Kira came out of the bathroom.

Kira padded out in her off-white bathrobe. With a subtle smile, she vigorously rubbed her head with a thick towel. "Good morning."

Miles shot out of his chair. "Morning." He breezed past Kira and seized the bathroom. In less than half a minute, Kira and Keiko heard the shower rushing water again.

Nerys looked back toward the bathroom, and winced. "I should start waking up earlier."

Keiko got out of her chair and waved a dismissing hand toward the bathroom. "Don't mind him. He's always like that when he gets out of bed." She grabbed Miles' unfinished dishes and recycled them in the replicator.

Nerys walked up next to Keiko. "Raktajino." She removed the cup of Klingon coffee from the replicator and took the chair Miles sat in just moments before.

"Don't you want something to eat," Keiko said.

"I'm not much of a breakfast person." Nerys took a sip of her raktajino.

"I thought as much. It's just that when I was pregnant with Molly-well, I couldn't stay away from the croissants."

"Don't worry. Since I started carrying the baby, my appetite shot up exponentially. Just ask Odo-yesterday when we had lunch together? He was afraid I was going to eat his hand if he moved it too close to my plate."

Keiko laughed uneasily. "Still, lunch is a long ways away." She pointed back toward the replicator. "Are you sure you don't want anything?"

Nerys poked her tongue against her cheek and placed her cup smartly upon the glass-topped table. "Keiko, I agreed to live here until the baby comes to term, because I know that my carrying your child can't be easy for either of you."

Keiko reached across the table and took Nerys' hand. "And we're both very grateful that you did-"

Nerys smiled politely, but cut her off. "I know that, but…" She paused to find the proper phrase. "You're driving me crazy."

She didn't give Keiko time to react. "It's mostly me. Ever since I was a little girl, I was self-reliant. I never asked for anything from anybody unless I absolutely, positively needed it. I'm…just not used to all the attention you've been giving me." Nerys smiled to try to make her words easier to swallow, but she doubted it was going to work.

Keiko didn't look like she enjoyed what she was hearing very much, but she tried to be diplomatic. "In other words, I'm suffocating you."

Nerys laughed nervously. "I don't think 'suffocating'-"

"If I seem like I'm mothering you it's because you've never been pregnant before," Keiko's voice was gradually developing an edge. "Maybe I am being a little protective, but you have to understand-" The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she bit them back before they shot out of her mouth.

"What?" Nerys squeezed Keiko's hand.

"You may be the one who's pregnant, but this is my baby!" Keiko drew in breath sharply, like she instantly regretted what she just said. She slipped her hand away from Nerys' and looked off to the side.

Nerys leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Do you know this is the first time you said that since I moved in," She said softly.

"Nerys-"

"Keiko there's nothing to apologize for; this is uncomfortable for all of us." Nerys leaned forward again. "We've spent the last week tiptoeing around each other to make things go as smooth as possible, but I don't think it's working, do you?"

Keiko looked at her. "What do you suggest?"

"Maybe we both need to give a little. I'll try to be more cooperative, but you need to start trusting me, Keiko." Nerys ran her hand down her swollen belly. "You are the mother of this child, but I care every bit as much about him as you do. I promise I'll never do anything that would risk his health. Never."

Keiko considered it. "Well, I can't promise that I'll never nag you again…" She reached out and took Nerys' hand again. "But I'll give it my best shot."

Miles just finished what was probably the fastest shower he ever took in his life. He slapped the water faucet closed and slid the shower door open so quickly, it smashed against the wall. Miles winced at his inadvertent racket, and waited for Keiko to yell over to him. However, he didn't hear anything.

He hoped someone out there heard him making noise-it might have emphasized his point: Kira spends too much time in the damn shower! Kira always checked into Ops an hour after he left for work, and yet she was always the one who used the shower first?! What sense did that make!?

Miles yanked on the towel on the wall, and heard some of the seams on the towel straining before it finally freed itself from the hook. As he started to dry himself, a glob of foam bit into his eyes. "Bloody hell-" Miles smeared at his face and looked at his hand. Sure enough, there was still some shampoo left in his hair. He briskly combed his hand through his hair to swipe off any other soapy deposits.

When he did, his hand practically flew through his hair! It didn't become entangled like it usually did. Must be the new conditioner. Miles took a quick look at his hand and didn't see any shampoo, so he draped the towel over his head and started to dry his hair. After he dried off the rest of his body, Miles went up to the mirror and swiped off the steamy glaze to get a good look at himself.

Nerys smiled and placed her free hand on top of Keiko's. After a few moments of silence, she looked over to the replicator with a mischievous smile on her face. "You know, I think I'm hungry after all."

A blood-curdling howl erupted from the bathroom. "Miles!" Keiko jumped out of her chair and sprinted past Nerys before she was even able to stand up.

Keiko stopped at the bathroom door and slapped on it. "Miles!?" When she didn't hear anything on the other side, Keiko pressed two keys on the door's control pad. The door swished open, and what Keiko saw left her speechless.

Nerys finally made it to the bathroom. "What ha-" She caught a look inside the bathroom and stopped talking.

Keiko leaned forward toward her husband and gently placed a hand under his chin. "Oh, Miles."

Fifteen minutes later, Miles was sitting on a table in the infirmary. After what seemed like eons, Doctor Bashir returned from the lab. "What happened to me!?"

Julian tried to look serious, but was no more successful than he was during his previous four attempts. "Chief, the nurse is still running tests on the shampoo and conditioner you gave us. Be patient."

"Be patient!?" Miles ran his hands through his new, loose head of perfectly straight hair! "I look like a damned floor mop!" He tried to swipe back the curtain of hair covering his eyes, but every time he removed his hand, it fell back into place again.

Julian chuckled. "I never knew how long your hair actually was until now."

Daggers shot out of Miles' eyes.

Julian threw up his hands. "Well, look on the bright side, Chief. Your hair may have straightened out, but the follicles are unchanged. As your hair continues to grow, it will start to curl again."

Miles sneered at him. "In the meantime, I'll have curly hair with eight-centimeter straight ends! I'll look like the village idiot!"

"You could always get a perm," Julian said.

"I am not-" Miles cut himself off when the nurse entered and handed off the test results to Julian. "Well?"

Julian waved him off. "Give me a chance to read this." He looked at the PADD for a couple seconds, then lowered it. "Someone slipped you a Mickey, Chief. The conditioner you used contained a powerful relaxing agent that straightened your hair the moment it came into contact."

"What! Why would anyone do that!?"

"I may be way off base here," Julian said, "But my theory is that someone's having a little fun with you." His face contorted into an unwilling grin. "Do you have any enemies, Mr. O'Brien?"

"Har-de-har-har." Miles slipped off the bed. "I'm already late for my shift, now I'm going to have to have an emergency haircut just so I can see in front of me." He testily swiped at the hair in his face again.

Julian put his arm around Miles' shoulder. "Just don't cut off too much. That style is all the rage on Vulcan. Romulus, too." Miles gave him another withering look, but this time it wasn't enough to kill Julian's full-blown grin.

Another yawn. Garak brought his fist up to his mouth and looked around the inpatient ward. No clocks. Doctor Bashir keeps patients laid up in this cold, drab room for days on end and he doesn't even let them track the passage of time? Except for the absence of a force field, Garak felt like a prisoner in the ward, and he wasn't even sick!

At least not yet. Quark's constant yammering about the so-called 'complexities' of running a saloon was becoming tiresome. If Quark was going to get me out of bed so early, the least he could do is say something meaningful, Garak thought. As it stood, all of Quark's homilies and Rules of Acquisition were little more than dressed-up common sense.

But through it all Garak just smiled, nodding earnestly whenever Quark stopped to take a breath. Occasionally, he took time out to take a few notes in his PADD. The notes had absolutely nothing to do with the nonsense Quark was spouting, but he didn't know that.

"You aren't listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Garak snapped out of his self-involved trance and tuned Quark back in again. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

Quark fumed in his bed. "Garak, I'm trusting you to look after my bar for a week. Could you at least listen to some of what I have to say?"

"Forgive me." Garak twiddled the PADD in his hand. "I'm just worried. You have ten people working for you-waiters and dabo girls-and they can't even keep the tables clean. When people come flooding in from the Diversity Festival, I can't see how your employees will be able to keep up with all the customers." Garak sounded worried, but he already had a solution for this problem. Since much of a solution's beauty was in the presentation, he decided to lure Quark in before he impressed him.

Quark shrugged, or tried to shrug as best he could. "It's a problem, I know. Since the FCA forced my Ferengi employees to resign, I've been scrambling around to find replacements." He set his jaw and looked up at the ceiling. "I never thought it would be so hard to replace those drones."

Garak grinned. Time to spring it on him. "Actually," He looked around and walked around Quark's bed until he came to the nearby stool. He sat down and whispered, "We may not need to replace them."

Quark shook his head. "No, no. I've already tried holographic waiters, and androids are too expensive."

Garak touched Quark's shoulder. "I don't mean that. Not all of your old employees have left the station yet." He looked around to make sure no one else was listening. The patient at the other end of the ward was still asleep. Lucky him. "What if I told you there was a way to hire the Ferengi back without risking sanctions from the Ferengi Alliance?"

Quark scoffed at the notion at first, but sobered up when he saw Garak wasn't kidding. "I'm listening." He scooted himself into a sitting position.

"As I understand it, no other Ferengi are allowed to do business with you. However, I have a highly-placed friend in the Ferengi judiciary, and he tells me that the Alliance's legal definition of business is narrowly defined to an exchange of good or services for monetary units, or other goods or services."

Quark flipped his palms up. "So?"

"So if you don't pay the Ferengi for working at your bar, they won't be doing business with you, and they won't have to answer to the FCA."

"That's it? That's your brilliant plan? Don't pay them?" Quark's eyes glazed over and started speaking with a sing-songy accent. "Well why didn't I think of that? Now all we have to do is find a bunch of Ferengi who will work for no payment whatsoever!"

Garak overcame the compelling urge to smack him. "Of course they will get paid! They just won't get paid by you." He tapped a few keys on his PADD and offered it to Quark. As Quark read the contents, Garak continued. "I could create a shadow organization that would funnel the funds from your payroll accounts, to a large general account from which I would pay your employees. By giving that company the added responsibility of something like holosuite maintenance, I would add a small amount of maintenance funds to the company's general account-an amount for which you would compensate me for in some other unrelated transaction. This would 'sterilize' the payroll funds and mask their true point of origin."

Quark arched an eyebrow. "I'm impressed." Then he shook his head. "Nah, I don't see the Ferengi going for it-they'd still be taking a risk."

Garak nodded. "Well, I spoke to them last night, and they indicated they are willing to return as long as I am managing the bar. This is only a temporary measure, of course, but it would be long enough for us to weather the short-term business increase." With a sparkle in his eye, Garak gently removed the PADD from Quark's hand.

"It's still not going to work," Quark said. "I've tried to create a dummy company for years, but the Bajorans would never allow it."

"True, but my company would do nothing but handle money legally obtained. I don't plan on hiding it's true purpose from anyone." Garak nudged Quark. "Besides, the Bajoran notary owes me a few favors. I should be able to register my organization within the hour. With your approval, of course." Garak spent the next few minutes watching Quark squirm in silence. He didn't like it, that much was obvious. Yet with him bedridden and desperate for profit, there was only one decision Quark could make.

Quark licked his sharp teeth and snapped his eyes back into focus. "I only want payroll funds going into your company, and I want the to see the accounting ledgers for all transactions every morning before the bar opens."

"Agreed." Garak handed the PADD to Quark. "Put your thumbscan at the bottom."

Quark snatched the PADD and read the contract closely. He looked dubiously at Garak and pressed his thumb into the device before he gave it back.

Garak looked to confirm the thumbscan. "Good. You won't regret this Quark, I promise you." Quark just moaned incoherently, and waved him away.

Garak smiled warmly, and left to register the contract. However, when he left the inpatient ward, he saw Doctor Bashir talking (or arguing) with Mr. O'Brien-at least he thought it was Mr. O'Brien. That got Garak to thinking. His bar renovation requests were major; contract or no, Mr. O'Brien would no doubt talk to Quark before he lifted a finger….

Quark shut his eyes tight, trying to intimidate himself into falling asleep. But it didn't work, there was no way he could sleep, especially not now. Not while that slick gargoyle-

"Oh, Quark, just one more thing."

When he opened his eyes, Garak was looming over him, his eyes sinking into the shadows of the dimly lit room. The horrible sight forced a tepid yelp out of Quark's mouth. Quark shook his head and muttered something under his breath. "What now?"

"I meant to tell you," Garak said, "I filed several work requests to Chief O'Brien last night."

"Several-" Quark snapped up out of bed. He moved so quickly, his weak inner ear didn't have time to compensate, and he tipped over to one side. Only an interfering hand from Garak prevented him from spilling to the floor.

As soon as he felt stable, Quark wrenched himself out of Garak's grasp. "What are you doing to my bar!?"

"Calm down, Quark-"

"Don't tell me to calm down! You haven't run my bar for twenty-six hours and you're already acting like you own the place! Well, you don't-I do!"

"Listen to me." Garak was polite enough, but there was a barely noticeable edge to his voice. He rarely spoke with any edge to his voice at all, and that made Quark very uncomfortable. It shut him up, too.

"That's better," Garak said. "I know 'several work orders' sounds like a lot, but it really isn't. I'm doing some minor restoration-replace a few deckplates here, apply a little paint there. I'm even buying a few pieces of furniture, out of my own pocket, so that Quark's looks more vibrant than it ever has before."

Then he leaned over Quark with a toothless grin that would've made Odo proud. "Like you said, the next week's business is very important to you. And there will be some customers out there who won't spend a lot of time in a bar that looks-how shall I say it?" Garak considered it for a few moments, then his eyes lit up. "Frayed around the edges."

'Frayed around the edges'? He's really pressing his luck! The more Quark heard about Garak's plans, the more he regretted giving him control in the first place. But what was he going to do, fire him? Who could he possibly hire to replace Garak?

No one, there wasn't anyone else. And in spite of all his misgivings, Quark noticed a certain ruthless glint in Garak's eye whenever he discussed the bar, the same kind of hungry energy Quark had. No, Quark's lobes told him that Garak wasn't libel to accept failure any more than he was.

Plus, now that he was, in effect, paralyzed, Garak scared the hell out of him.

"As long as you're paying for it with your own money…" Quark exhaled slowly and looked at the ceiling. "All right, fine, do it. Now get out."

"Wonderful! I'll take care of everything, don't you worry."

Quark nodded but continued to look at the ceiling. "Uh-huh. Get out."

Garak started to leave, but before he went out the door, he turned back. "Quark."

"What?"

Garak hesitated. "Before I was exiled from Cardassia, I spent most of my adult life traveling from place to place. I visited distant worlds, immersed myself in rich cultures…" Garak's words trailed off and he looked to the floor. "Anyway, when I was exiled my life became a great deal smaller." When he raised his head back up, moisture was shining in his eyes. "But when you trusted me to run your bar, you gave my life a sense of…variety I hadn't know in years. Thank you, Quark."

Quark nodded gravely, and watched Garak leave. Then he chuckled and quietly muttered, "Sell it to someone who's buying." Quark shut his eyes once more, even though he knew sleep was impossible.

That should hold him off for a couple days! Garak turned back toward the door and left the inpatient ward. Just in time, too; it looked like Doctor Bashir was finishing up with Mr. O'Brien. Not wanting to intrude, Garak moved past them without saying a word.

However, Mr. O'Brien wouldn't have it. "Garak."

Garak turned and walked back to the two men. "Good morning, gentlemen." His eyes fixated on O'Brien's long, stringy hair. "Mr. O'Brien, let me take the opportunity complement you on your new look."

"Garak-" Bashir said.

"I'm serious, Doctor. I've found that human males are normally rigid in their hairstyles. It's quite refreshing to find someone who is bold enough to fly in the face of convention. And in Mr. O'Brien's case, I think he made a most striking choice." He turned back to O'Brien. "I must confess, I didn't know you had it in you."

The reactions he got from both men was not what he expected. O'Brien looked away and tucked his tongue to one side of his mouth. Meanwhile, Doctor Bashir had his back to the others; he had his arms close to his body, and he trembled slightly. Perhaps the doctor was cold?

"Is Quark awake," O'Brien said.

"Yes," Garak said. "I take it you received my work requests."

"Yeah, but I'm going to have to clear it with Quark before I do anything."

"Of course." Garak gave O'Brien a polite nod.

O'Brien gave a threatening look at Bashir and got off table. He walked very slowly toward the inpatient ward, but he had to stop from time to time to brush aside the curtain of hair in front of his face. And he swore under his breath all the way.

"He really should tie it back, don't you think," Garak said to Bashir.

"I wouldn't tell the chief that if I were you," Bashir said. "He's pretty touchy about his hair."

Garak tilted his head. "Hm."

CAPTAIN'S PERSONAL LOG-STARDATE 49862.4: "I'm en route back to Deep Space Nine after two tiring weeks serving as a Federation mediator in the ongoing dispute between the Tholians and the Sheliac. I consider it a great honor, albeit a frustrating one. While it didn't seem to me like much progress was made during this summit, both parties were pleased with the results. When you get right down to it, I guess that's what really matters.

"Right now, what matters to me is rest. As soon I as return to the station, I plan on doing just that."

When the airlock connecting the runabout Rhine to the station pressurized, Captain Benjamin Sisko stepped out holding two duffels and a small briefcase. When the gear-shaped door to Deep Space Nine rolled open, he saw Lieutenant-Commander Worf waiting for him.

"Welcome back, Captain," Worf said.

"It feels good to be back." Sisko closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Strange. I spent two weeks on a beautiful class-m planet and I found myself actually missing recycled air." He grinned. "Nothing smells quite as sweet as the smell of home," He said in a mock-poetic fashion.

If Worf noticed the irony, he didn't show it. "I know how you feel. Would you like me to help you?"

"Thank you." Sisko offered Worf one of his duffels (the heavier one-he didn't want to insult him), and they both started toward Sisko's quarters. "Captain Picard sends his regards. He wanted me to tell you how proud he was of your work here."

Worf looked at Sisko doubtfully, like he didn't feel worthy of such praise. "I am honored."

"So, what is the station's status? Did anything happen while I was away?"

Worf shook his head. "Nothing of any importance. The past two weeks have been for the most part uneventful. Both the station and the Defiant are at prime operating efficiency."

The door to the Sisko residence swooshed open, allowing the captain and Commander Worf to enter. "I had forgotten how tiring mediation could be. That's one good thing about being posted on the edge of the frontier, there isn't much call for that sort of thing here." Although, Sisko secretly wondered whether that was such a good thing.

Sisko tossed his duffel onto the sofa and placed his briefcase on the coffee table. When he reached to take the bag Worf was holding, he grabbed a bunch of empty air. Worf wasn't paying attention to him, he was too busy looking over toward the dining table where Major Kira and Jake were sitting.

Worf looked back to Sisko and handed the bag over to him. Sisko plopped the duffel on the floor. "Jake, Major."

Kira got out of her chair. "Captain, welcome back." She tried to sound pleasant, she tried pretty hard, but her performance was somewhat lacking.

Sisko looked from Kira to Jake, to Kira again. "Something wrong?" He noticed that Jake looked pretty uncomfortable himself. For some reason Jake avoided eye contact with him.

Jake turned to answer Sisko, but Kira interrupted. "No, I just needed to ask Jake--" She said quickly. "I was telling Ziyal about that blue comet that orbits the station, and when she asked me where it passed, I didn't have an answer for her. The station rotates, and-well, I thought Jake might know the best place to see the comet." Kira looked over to Jake. "Where was that again?"

Jake didn't say anything at first, but then the answer came to him. "The promenade," He said. He looked Kira in the eye and gulped slowly. "The promenade, on the end opposite Quark's."

Sisko grunted. There was more to this than they let on, but he let it go--he trusted them.

After their little secret was sidestepped, both Kira and Jake were a bit more relaxed. "How were the negotiations on Thol," Kira said.

Sisko bulged his eyes wide. "Slow," He purred. "Separately, the Tholians and the Sheliac are stubborn enough, but together? It was a small miracle that we got them to reach agreement on two issues. That only leaves 307 more to go." Sisko stared off into empty space. The thought of trying to get the Tholians and the Sheliac to hammer out a complete treaty made him lose the will to live. "The Federation team agreed to quit while we were ahead, so we scheduled another summit on Shelia three months from now."

Jake's face fell. "Do you have to go to that one, too?"

"I'd rather not, but I don't think Starfleet is going to give me a choice. According to Admiral Cronan, the Sheliac find me 'tolerable for a human'." Sisko shrugged. "As long as they request my presence at these sorts of high-level functions, I'm probably going to find myself at every single one of them." He paused, then turned back to Kira. "Well, since you and Commander Worf did such a good job running the station during my absence, I'll let the two of you stay in charge for the next few days."

Worf furrowed his brow. "Captain?"

"I'm exhausted, Mr. Worf. The summit ended four days early, and I'm going to use that time to recuperate. If there's an emergency, call me. Otherwise I want no hassles, no treaties, no missions in the Gamma Quadrant. I just want to sleep in and play baseball."

"Understood," Worf said.

Kira nodded and her smile melted into something more genuine. "We'll let you get started. See you in a few days, Captain." She cast a passing, but meaningful, gaze toward Jake. "Goodbye Jake."

Once Commander Worf and Major Kira left, Sisko lumbered over to the couch, pushed the duffel off, sat in the middle of the sofa and stretched his arms out. He closed his eyes and sniffed in another helping of reconstituted air. When he opened his eyes, Jake was still on the other side of the room, sitting at the dinner table.

"Is there something you want to tell me," Sisko said.

"No."

The doorchime gave the Siskos something else to focus on. "Enter," Sisko said.

When the door opened, Jadzia Dax breezed in with a small, colorful figurine of Captain Ben clutched against her chest. "Mr. Emissary, can I have your autograph," She said, batting her eyes.

Ben took a good look at the little painted figure Jadzia held. "Where did you get that?"

"Mrs. Tavro's shop. A shipment of these came in yesterday."

"Hey!" Jake got up and took the figure out of Jadzia's hand. He laughed as he looked it up and down, then brought the plastic body up to his face. "For the last time, Jake, turn down that damn music," Jake's impression of his father was horrible, but it was enough to get a laugh out of Jadzia.

"Funny," Ben said. He stood up and took the little figurine out of Jake's hand. "When I gave the Bajoran government permission to use my likeness for some statuettes, I didn't think they'd do something like this." He turned it around. "I mean, look at it--they just threw this thing together."

Jadzia shrugged. "I guess they originally planned on just making statuettes, but not every Bajoran can afford them." She hoisted her hand toward the tiny Ben Sisko. "So they made these. They only cost two slips of latinum, and Mrs. Tavro tells me she can't fill her shelves fast enough."

Jake slapped Ben on the shoulder. "Just think, Dad," He said with a devilish grin, "Every Bajoran household is going to have one of these little guys standing in the middle of their dinner table." The only reaction he got was an unpleasant grunt.

Jadzia patted Ben's chest. "It's the price of fame, Benjamin. Deal with it."

"I guess I'll have to." Ben held up the figure and looked at it face-to-face. "This doesn't even look like me."

Jadzia slipped her arm over Ben's shoulders, and assessed the likeness herself. "Could be worse. It could be posable."

Jake nodded earnestly and tried his best to look serious. "Or anatomically correct." He and Jadzia managed to keep their composure for all of two seconds, but after that it was too much. They both leaned in toward each other and laughed their heads off.

~~~~~~~~~~

By Lasher (lasher@maui.netwave.net)

Table of Contents

DS9: "Friendly Takeover"

Chapter Four